3. You could change your attitude toward the stress, that is, change the way you are thinking about the stress so it does not stress you any more. Sometimes this involves not caring so much or changing your priorities.

Using the commuting example, instead of thinking that everybody is out to kill you, you could realize that your health is more important than proving yourself in some symbolic way to a stranger on the road.

If you understand that some people are in bigger hurries than others, you might find yourself not caring about how others drive, thinking instead that it's fine with you to stay in the slow lane and let them go on ahead

Perhaps you could think of your time commuting as a few moments alone with yourself, a time to reflect or perhaps to put in a nice tape of relaxing music rather than a time when you must prove yourself.

Which method should you use?

Change the stress is what we all try to do and when we can't, we're frustrated. Consider avoiding stress- it's a perfectly valid way of "changing the stress."

Change your physical response to the stress is not so easy and usually requires that you are also practicing at home on a daily basis the process of formal deep relaxation or meditation so that you have the experience of relaxation to remember when you are stressed.

Consider the time spent in home practice to be a training period, a time when you are learning how to relax your muscles so that you can evoke the relaxation response at will. With continued practice, you can later take that ability with you and relax any time, any place, even in situations that used to be stressful to you.

Change your attitude toward the stress has spawned a whole business of cognitive therapy with its many methods of changing our thoughts or "cognitively re-structuring" them. You may find yourself surprised when you realize that you can purposely "think" something different.

Which method of responding to stress do you think is hardest for you to do?

If you want a technique to cope with stress that you can do quickly, try this: stop and take a deep breath.

Sounds too simple, doesn't it? But it is actually a sophisticated technique. The deep breath, of course, gives you more oxygen in case you were holding your breath due to stress, but there is more.

The "stopping" is a good part of its usefulness. You are stopping the stress in the outside world from continuing to demand your attention. Instead, you are redirecting your attention to your body, to your sensation of taking a deep breath.

This awareness of your body allows you to notice other aspects of your inner sensations and to possibly correct them. Maybe you notice that you're too hot or tired and need to rest or need to change your position. When you're busy thinking, you're unaware of those body needs. The deep breath puts the awareness where it can best pick up those perceptions.

Check in with your body often and listen to what it is saying. Try taking a deep breath, or two (not too many or you could hyperventilate), perhaps once an hour. Many people say the deep breath made a huge difference in their perception of stress. Try it and see if it works for you.

Ways to cope with stress

Quick Methods

1. Stop and take a deep breath
2. Quick verbal affirmations
3. Quick imagery: imagine a place special to you
4. Observe your physical response and choose to relax

Daily Practice Methods

1. Biofeedback
2. Progressive relaxation
3. Autogenics
4. Visualization/ imagery
5. Self-hypnosis
6. Abdominal breathing
7. Meditation

Other methods

8. Physical exercise
9. Stress management concepts
10. Cognitive restructuring
11. Mental rehearsal
12. Affirmations
13. Assertiveness training
14. Time management training
15. Movement therapies: Somatics, Yoga, Tai Chi, Feldenkrais
16. Family, group support
17. Writing
18. Medications, anti-depressants

Copyright © 2000-2008 Jan R. Markle

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